"Lousy" is the Word

i received my marc jacobs skull pin already from the states. don't feel happy though.
jus a few turn of events today and well now kinda mopping in whatever feeling comes over me first.

i have always or numerous times been told i do not speak up or know hot express myself. well simply to say, put my feelings into words. just like today, got into a "FIX" and well i shut myself out and don't reply. i feel angry , sad & guilty all in all. wish i could die though. (why am i scared of sharp objects and heights ?) i wanna cry again.